Delta Crashes Man’s Wedding With Similarly Titled In-flight Movie

Seated next to his elderly Catholic grandfather on a Delta flight, David was nervous when saw these words come across the in-flight movie screen:

“If you see this warning, you are viewing a version of the movie that is for use only for review by Delta Airlines staff. If this is screening in the main cabin, please alert a flight attendant.”

The unedited version of Wedding Crashers ensued, containing all the breasts and all the Vince Vaughn crotch rubbings.

David didn’t let Delta get away with leaving all the jokes in. Oh no, they’re still smarting from those $25 gift certificates…


David writes:

“This past December, my family and I were returning from Hawaii. We had been down for my sister’s wedding, so we had the whole family in tow: Mom, Dad, my other sister, my brother, Grandpa Jim, my wife. We aren’t a particularly socially liberal family as a whole. Perhaps my wife and I are, but absolutely not my 80-year-old Catholic grandfather and not my prudish parents.

I say that to tell this: a movie began during the flight. I saw a warning at the beginning of the movie that said, “If you see this warning, you are viewing a version of the movie that is for use only for review by Delta Airlines staff. If this is screening in the main cabin, please alert a flight attendant.”

Well, I was sitting right next to my mom and my grandfather, and I certainly didn’t want to have to watch some unapproved version with them, held hostage and not able to use excuses like I usually do when a movie we rented accidentally gets sexy or vulgar or something.

This was like my worst nightmare.

Here came the title screen:

WEDDING CRASHERS

“Well, maybe this will be okay,” I told myself. It’s got Owen Wilson, co-star of I Spy. He’s family-friendly.

And then there were at least 10 sets of breasts.

I stand up and begin looking for the flight attendant. Frantically. There is no way I’m watching a boob movie with Grandpa Jim.

Only, there was no flight attendant around. At all. I looked for 15 minutes. I guess they had stepped out for a smoke break or something. I was also a little embarrassed to give it a real gung-ho effort, since the entire cabin seemed pretty stoked about this movie. I was going to be the one to ruin the fun. I sheepishly sat back down.

What followed was the most uncomfortable 2 hours of my life, as my parents and I sat and watched Wedding Crashers. At least, until they finally wised up that it wasn’t going to get any cleaner. Until they realized the mistake Delta had made.

But that was not before I watched a girl rubbing Vince Vaughn’s crotch under the table, Owen Wilson taped up by the love interest’s brother, and then mother (if I’m remembering correctly), etc etc.

I emailed Delta about it later. I got a standard apology letter and a $25 flight voucher to be used by each of us on the flight.”

Delta, in the inimitable words of Jeremy Grey, that’s not how you cut cake, you gotta treat cake like a lady.

Comments

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  1. Falconfire says:

    lol I love in flight movies. I saw “Must Love Dogs” on my way home from Cali and I couldnt believe the stuff they cut out (occasionaly bitch or lesser curse) + mentions of sex yet they left in the entire search for the condom driving scenes intact.

    Its like did they even watch the movie to realize that one scene was worse than anything they ever cut out.

  2. Papercutninja says:

    Uhm. How old are you that you’re embarassed when you, your dad and your grandpa see some boobs? I almost understand the whole conservative/liberal thing, and that it wasn’t supposed to be shown, but seriously how old ARE you?

    There were no children in your party i assume, because you made no mention of them, so no harm no foul. Your whole family has seen boobs before this movie. Get over it.

  3. windowseat says:

    Things could be worse, like having to sit through a “Joey” rerun on Delta or seeing “Dirty Dancing II: Havana Nights” FOUR times on Lufthansa.

  4. DeeJayQueue says:

    “If you think that’s offensive, check THIS out… I think you can see her kidneys…”
    -Randall from Clerks.

  5. Odd story. Why didn’t he (or anyone else) try to alert the staff immediately? The breasts don’t make their appearance until well after the opening credits–there’s the mediation scene, Vince’s blind date conversation with his secretary, the pre-crashing-season conversation, the first wedding, and then the long montage with the boobtacular climax.

    Yes, I watched it last weekend.

  6. Amy Alkon000 says:

    Perhaps the thing to be corrected is the religious fanaticism of these prudes. There are naked boobs all over the place in France, and nobody’s fainting in the streets.

  7. Papercutninja says:

    Correction. “Your whole family HAVE seen boobs before this movie.”

    Also, it’s not a boob movie. Its a comedy where once in a while a tit falls out. Grow the hell up.

    Amy, as much as the French have boobs everywhere, you have to remember that this country was formed by PURITANS who were considered prudes in the 17th CENTURY!!! Of course they’re still going to be fanatic.

  8. The_Truth says:

    You spent 15 MINUTES!!! trying to find a flight attendant on plane, and you couldent find one?

    Either your blind, or you really didnt try to look that hard in a thin metal tube.

    And yeah, they are just boobs. When people complain about it, it just ruins the fun for everyone else. Besides, I would have to assume that your dad & grandad have both seen at least one set before, is it really that bad? And if it is why not read a book?

    Seriously, you wernt strapped to the seat with your eyes pinned open, if you didnt like it ignore it and do something else.

  9. cudthecrud says:

    Is this not what call buttons are made for?

  10. @The_Truth: Perhaps grandad did it through the whole in the sheet.

  11. angela says:

    I have to agree with everyone on this here. If there were children
    involved here I can see the concern. You guys are adults, showing some
    boobs is nothing to get out of bent here. I will bet my house that your
    grandpa and father has seen BOOBS more than once in their lives.. Let
    it rest!

  12. Pelagius says:

    Once Delta started pinning its customers eyelids open and securing their heads in a brace, forcing them to watch the movie on the tiny screen above them, something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

  13. Sigh. “hole,” not “whole.”

  14. bambino says:

    Maybe there weren’t children in his group, but there had to be one somewhere on the plane. You can’t travel without the little bastards screaming their heads off.

  15. Treved says:

    15 minutes and you didn’t find a flight attendant? Who are you, Jodie Foster? Check that compartment under the plane, that’s where they are hiding (sorry to ruin Flightplan for y’all).

  16. gwai lo says:

    I think the important part of this was that it was a version that was never intended for passengers to view, so Delta was aware it was potentially offensive to certain individuals but it was shown despite that. Whether or not David and his family memebers are “prude” has nothing to do with the issue.

    On the other hand, I also think $25 vouchers is an O.K. compensation for the discomfort caused.

  17. homerjay says:

    Well, I never! Boobies in public! Why sir, I believe I’m gettin’ the vapors!

    At least there were no motherfuckin’ snakes on that motherfuckin’ plane!

  18. creamsissle says:

    Jeff – thank you! I was thinking the same thing re: Flightplan.

    I think we should receive $25 each time we are forced to watch edited movies in-flight. I can’t stand being censored…children and elderly be damned. ;-)

  19. RapperMC says:

    sigh…guys!

    can we not be okay with the fact that i dont want to sit next to my family watching vince vaughn get jacked off? i felt like i was riding on Hooters Air or something.

    now, if it had been jon favreau, that’d be a different story.

    but, yes…i know the whole family’s seen boobs before. i just would prefer not doing it as a family experience, listening to them talk about “f*cking girls,” etc.

    and yes, i did look for 15 minutes. maybe they were all in the cockpit? no pun intended (that’s not true…i suck.)

  20. RapperMC says:

    though, the way you all make it sound is pretty funny. reminds me of conan o’brien the other night when paul giamatti kept talking about “fanny sex,” to which conan started twirling the big curly invisible moustache and exlaiming “constable, arrest that man! he’s having fanny sex!”

  21. ikes says:

    i want $25 for having to suffer through The Net a couple years ago!

  22. The_Truth says:

    Ahh good, a submitter with a sense of humour (Viva the true english!) and willingness to see the other point of view!

  23. typhoon says:

    we saw “good will hunting” on a flight, and it was good, maybe better, than the wersion filled with profanity, which i saw later. my children asked me if they could watch the movie on our flight, and thinking it was filled with the f word, i said ok, but to turn it off when the first f bomb was uttered. there was no profanity in the edited version, and was such a good experience. my boys were ten and six at the time.when i asked my sons what they thought about the movie that they had just seen, they said in unison that the movie was “really f–king good”.