Anti-Terror Cutlery To Foil Al Qaeda, Business-Class Diners

A month back, we here at the Consumerist asked you — Joe and Jane America! — to dream up ways in which to mutilate someone on an airplane that the TSA hadn’t yet thought up. We wanted to help them out by supplying them with a list of other devices that they could obnoxiously confiscate from us.

Well, the TSA never responded to our emails, maybe because we used the term “Hey You Assholes” in the subject. But a British company was listening and are introducing a line of stainless steel “anti-terror” cutlery in response to some of our more inventive cutlery maneuvers.

The cutlery is intended to replace the plastic spork currently given to business-class customers. The knife has a rounded edge instead of a sharp one and is only a couple inches long. The fork have prongs only an inch long. The spoon is unchanged, which will mean disaster for us all: it always has been the most dangerous eating utensil in the hands of a master.

The other article on this page is interesting too, about a drunk Chinese passenger who manages to break out the airplane window with one swing of his fist. That’s the kind of terrorist-exploitable design flaw that really makes the length of your business class fork tines pretty much moot.

Update: ‘Anti-terror’ cutlery for airlines introduced [International Herald Tribune]

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  1. mistress smarty says:

    Ah, but one CAN remove an eyeball with a spork. Just ask Marshall to do it.

  2. Falconfire says:

    I dont see how this stuff is anti terror… A butter knife can cut given enough force. hell even your hands could be used to kill.

    whole things is a dumb as bricks idea.