It Snot Nose Candy

Just what the world constabulary of disgusting children needs: a plastic schnozz you fit over your real honker and into which you poke your tongue to eat candy boogers.

‘Hose Nose’ is the name of this charming candy from San Diego. As you can see, the package features at least two variations on the same ‘snot’ pun. The nose contains ‘Candy Slime’ and also features elastic straps on the back: you are meant to wear this over your own nose, rooting around in there only when you want to lick one porky finger clean of sweet candy goo. The package also advises you to ‘Catch It On Your Tongue.’

Yes, it’s a classy product, sure to cause 9 year old boys everywhere to wet themselves in side-splitting hysteria… or at least until someone comes up with a depository chocolate dispenser that can be plugged directly into one’s own anus.

Nose Candy of a Sugary Kind [Strange New Products]

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  1. KevinQ says:

    I thought it was candy, but it’s not.

    K

  2. Hooray4Zoidberg says:

    And they laughed at that guy on American Inventor who invented the jam dispenser that was a rubber foot. It was called the toe jam dispenser. The jam actually came out from in between the toes. It was really nasty, but he swore that kids would love it. Maybe he was on to something.

  3. ModerateSnark says:

    Regarding that chocolate dispenser:

    Willie Wonka’s Poompa Doompa

    Coming soon!

  4. Smoking Pope says:

    Not too long ago I noticed my local convenience store was selling “Toilet Bowl Lip Gloss”. We are surely doomed.