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The News; Dance Like Nobody's Buying

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• Coulda saved a lotta trouble just by reading a little thing called "The Laws of Supply and Demand." [LAT] " 'Boutique' Gasoline Blends Not Boosting Prices, Study Finds"
• They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. [LAT] "Six Flags May Sell Its Magic Mountain Park"
• "We had a flat tire" only works so much. [CT] "United Airlines loses USPS Contract For Tardiness"
• The Googleplex paid him off in lifetime supply of candy, hair combings. [LAT] "Lawmaker's Porn Suit Against Google Dropped"

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Dear God, how retarded does United have to be to end up being too slow for the U.S. Postal Service?