Edelman's Breath on Our Neck. Verdict? It Tickles!
Eww.
Someone from Edelman, the PR behemoth that does the mirage-making for Wal-Mart, among others, just emailed us. They want to "outreach," to this "community."
- Subject: I am going to add you to me media relations list...
From: [redacted]@edelman.com
Hi there,
I am going to add you to my media relations list, if you don't mind.
My name is Chris and I (obviously) work at Edelman -- I am part of a community outreach team and I am collecting a list of folks to reach out to.
Chris
---
Chris Abraham
Edelman Interactive
t +1 202 [redacted]
m +1 202 [redacted]
We liked his candy but felt funny after leaving the car. We never did find that quarter... Chris also has a blog which probably won't offend anyone whatsoever.
Previously: Edelman tag, including their efforts at "Blogtrusion."
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Comments:
I'm confused. Who's the man in tights?? How does the green sucker kill you instantly? Poison? Lasers? Is this Flash Gordon is the 50s or the new one with the Queen theme? Can we have the old Flash with the Queen theme?
I wish someone like Chris from Edelman would reach out to me with a handful of talking points. It would be so much easier than actually thinking things up...
I somehow see that email going through 8 revisions to get just the right level of informality. It crystalizes all my anger towards PR; the effort expended to hide true intentions through the parroting to real human interactions.
Wow, there was a rant from nowhere. Maybe I just really had ending sentences with prepositions.
"community outreach team"--that's even better than "ladies of the night"
That reminds me, I'm on a "street team" for a band. I think I'll try and get our name changed to "pimp squad."
Sounds like a rape crisis center. Oh wait, it's Edelman, so it is.
"I am part of a community outreach team and I am collecting a list of folks to reach out to."
This fellow is quite the wordsmith. His four year beer-bong journey for a communication degree was a boon his mommy and daddy will never regret.
The Flash Gordon with the Queen soundtrack is the greatest film ever to grace American movie theaters with its cinematic brilliance.
I will tolerate no dissent on the matter.
That is all.
Community outreach specialists look in my mind like the supreme goddess of evil bitchiness, General Kala. "What do you mean, 'Flash Gordon approaches'? OPEN FIRE! ALL WEAPONS!"
Any movie with Timothy Dalton as a saucy prince in tights is OK by me and Freddie Mercury.
Well, here's a bone you can throw them--a real PR opportunity! Yesterday, Memphis's Commercial Appeal reported on a man who fixes old bikes and gives them to needy children. His one request for help? Someone get Wal-Mart to give him their damaged and scrapped bikes for parts instead of sending them to landfills, because he's had no luck. I journaled about it here and will add it to my blog later.
wat een eikel
As we say in Dutch
Translates as what an acorn...and an acorn looks like a....
Blogs such as this and other Gawker sites are high on the target list for publicists - poor Chris should have known better than to wake the sleeping beast however - it's like reaching into the big log in "Flash Gordan" pitching these things - you may come out OK, or you may get a green sucker attached to your hand, killing you instantly while a man in Robin Hood tights shakes his head in distaste...