Best Comments of The Week

ModerateSnark: You mean the Oompa Loompas may have taken a Poompa Doompa in the Chocolate River?

Madrid:I like the irony of the Americana-styled lighter near the bottom of the image. Nothing says, “I’m not a terrorist” like an American flag and a bald eagle.

something_amazing: Why does gawker HQ look like a crack den?

Morgan: I also know very little about golf; most of what I do know is gleaned from a friend who golfs. Apparently golfing involves much more alcohol than one might think.

trixare4kids: Look, I have a wickedly hot, very flirty UPS delivery guy and just in case he’s reading along, I wanted him to know that he can wear all the tight shorts he wants.

thwarted: It’s true–I got a couple of the videos for my husband as a gag gift for his birthday and we turned them off about ten minutes in. I never knew boobies could be so boring.

Michael: Bad writing and inane, nit-picking stories aside, I had grudging respect for this blog…

steinwaytony: Because there’s nothing better than the elusive comprehendible, unpretentious sentence on Consumerist.

Comments

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  1. PR Flack Brian says:

    I WAS ROBBED!

  2. ModerateSnark says:

    Thanks, Ben!
    It’s really nice to know that one’s thoughts and efforts to express them are appreciated.

    At the risk of spoiling a good thing, I’ve looked further into this. The responsibility for the current factory problems may rest with the current owner, Willie Wonka IV. Successor Wonkas have all been selected via the Golden Ticket process, as every Wonka was far too gay to produce offspring of his own (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Wonka IV was appointed as a child in 1993 and, as far as I can tell, labor unrest has been growing ever since Wonka III died (of Central Diabetes Insipidus complicated by insanity) without completing IV’s training. Since Oompa Loompas possess magical intestines and can indefinitely restrain their Boompa Moompas (to use the clinical term this time), the recent contamination may not have been the act of a single rouge worker, but rather a synchronized mass protest.

    The disputes are far from settled, but a new, permanent filtration system is being installed on the Chocolate River. The Oompa Loompas are already referring to it as “The Everlasting Gobstopper.”

  3. ModerateSnark says:

    Make that “rogue” not “rouge.” Oompa Loompas wear a lot of make-up, but that’s not what I meant.

  4. The Reviewer says:

    This has been my favorite post today. It makes me feel like one day, I too could become internet famous, if not just for a moment in time.