HOWTO: Cancel Anything

Courtesy of an anonymous reader and telcom worker, BoingBoing has some advice for cancelling any kind of service over the phone, which we’ve distilled here:

1. Call outside of normal business hours, when most retention people are asleep. You may get a low-level CSR who doesn’t get paid to retain you.
2. If the rep is rude or unreasonable, hang up and call right back and get a different rep.
3. Tell them you’re moving. Moving outside their service area.
4. The reps are paid to retain you. Threats won’t work. Keep your head cool and dance their little dance, politely.

Think of it like breaking up with a lover. One that still has your laptop in their apartment.

Read the full post here [BoingBoing] (Thanks to Eliz!)

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  1. Witty Username says:

    I’ve always had luck by telling the CSRs that I have no money. Those have always been the magic words: I’m running out of money and I need to cancel this order/service. It’s sort of like telling them you’re moving except that poverty is not sexy and moving is.

  2. Nate says:

    5. Shemale porn.