Folger’s Ghouls Tell You To Sleep When You’re Dead

Hallucinogenic Aryan hippies nightmarishly prance about the bleary-eyed and fatigued, screaming “YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU ARE DEAD!” Which will be just as soon as one of these electric kool-aid acid ghouls manages to touch you.

What are they advertising? Folger’s Instant Coffee, of course. Drinking tea in the morning is looking more and more palatable. Also, ironically enough, a lot less gay.

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  1. SecureLocation says:

    The fuck?! The guys who wrote this dumb ass thing should be dead and the Folgers execs who paid for it should kill them.

  2. limiter says:

    If it weren’t for Consumerist, I wouldn’t say “What the fuck?!” loudly from my office at work and then have to explain myself to everyone else in the office bay.

    Thanks Conumerist!

  3. I wasn’t aware that the Polyphonic Spress had gotten into advertising.

  4. slyckidiot says:

    Jesus you guys are curmudgeons. This ad is hilarious.

  5. Citizen Keen says:

    I’m with slyckidiot. If I drank instant coffe (God forbid – the day that I do, please shoot me), I would switch to Folgers. This ad cracks me up.

  6. ModerateSnark says:

    I guess all three of the old-school broadcast networks’ Lost-wannabe sci-fi-ish shows from last fall (“Threshold”@CBS, “Surface”@NBC, “Invasion”@ABC) were disappointments, but if the the orange lights in the water from “Invasion” had turned out to be the creatures in this ad, it could have been a lot scarier.

  7. Lars says:

    I’m down with slyckidiot. This seems like a skit from Kids in the Hall. Oh the hillarious dread.

  8. konstantConsumer says:

    it’s really fucking funny, but the idea of shiny people creeping into my bedroom or shower is scary as fuck. “folger’s coffee will sneak into your room while you are asleep… and rape you”

  9. TheBrianIsAstonishing says:

    Wait a second… is this actually a legit ad? There’s no way.. it’s gotta be a spoof.

  10. homerjay says:

    This is creepy. If it IS for real, can you possibly imagine that pitch meeting?
    “Okay listen guys, Carl had a great idea. It starts off with a bunch of yellow glowing ghosts emerging from the ocean in kind of a Lord of the Rings meets West Side Story way……”

  11. Mary Marsala With Fries says:

    I have to appreciate the irony that this made me spit Folgers’ coffee all over my keyboard.

    That said, a factual error should be noted — the “Sleep when you’re dead” way of life, which I lovingly called the “Uberman Sleep Schedule”, actually requires giving up coffee for a little while. Poor Folgers; they just can’t win.

  12. Yozzie says:

    I had no idea David Lynch was doing TV ads now. There’s something very Blue Velvet/Sesame Street about this that made me laugh and shiver at the same time.

    Having said that, if I was confronted by shiny yellow people-things singing at me like this before my first cup of coffee, I’d straight up kill them. Kill them all. With blunt, rusty tools.

    And Mary, I too enjoyed the alternate reality of the Uberman Sleep Schedule, and I agree with you on the coffee. I found the onset of the jitters and hallucinations around the 40th hour or so eased off a whole lot when I dropped caffeine.

  13. scingram says:

    Holy fuck.
    That is simultaneously incredibly funny and immensely disturbing.

  14. Bubba Barney says:

    It’s like a mash up of the Teletubbies, Xanadu, and Polyphonic Spree.