Clear Channel Introduces One-Second Radio Ads

ClearChannel, the troglodytic overlord of commercial radio, is introducing a new format for radio advertising. These one-second radio ads will be called “Blinks.” Besides the obvious synaesthesia seizures the mixed metaphor will inevitably cause, some observers are less than pleased.

To ClearChannel VP-Creative Jim Cook’s remark that, “It really is to find new uses of radio for advertisers who are continually asking us to demonstrate that our medium can successfully extend brands, can successfully reach the consumer with touchpoints that are new and surprising,” our everloving stick-in-the-mud Copyranter responds, “Touchpoints. Nice touch, you marketing lexiconic Douche. The Intel chime and NBC bells are listed among the possible mnemonics. Me, I’m hearing a lot of random, annoying AFLACs in my head right now.”

In related news, Consumerist.com introduced one-second vomit bags.

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  1. ModerateSnark says:

    Ok, I’m claiming this idea as my own, so no one steal it.

    I’ll create MillionDollarPodcast.com, and I’ll make a 12-hour podcast and sell 43,200 one second ads for $23.15 each.

  2. fatecreatr says:

    isn’t this just ripping off the advertisements of Max Headroom fame that caused peoples heads to explode? i think they were called “blip-verts.”

  3. matto says:

    These chumps are so behind the times, its not even funny.

    I revolutionized sex a decade ago with one-second intercourse.

    BEAT THAT, JIM KOOK!!

  4. Brian Gee says:

    Wait til they put these on TV! Blipverts anyone?

    I’m so glad I don’t listen to the radio anymore (and instead listen to the same CD on endless repeat whenever I’m in the car until I remember to bring another one). These are Bad-Touchpoints.

  5. Paul D says:

    All I can think of is the subliminal advertising bit from The Family Guy:

    SMOKE!

  6. Citizen Keen says:

    One more day, one more step closer to Demolition Man.

  7. The Great Aussie Evil says:

    @fatecreatr: The entire body exploded. I think only the ears will explode on this one.

  8. kc-guy says:

    These type of advertisements already exist in an accidental, if not possibly an experimental way. Commercials get cut off after only a few seconds all the time. As long as the products and/or advertisement is well known, a second or two is all that is needed to remind consumers of the product.

    Companies already have 1 minute and abbreviated 30 second versions of the same commercial, this is just a logical (although admittedly extreme) continuation of the same.