HOWTO: Win on A Claw Machine

I’m actually really good at those claw machines you find in movie theater lobbies and arcades. A life of twitch reflexes and joystick clutching has made me extremely beloved by small children: I’ll just walk into an arcade with a pocketful of jangling quarters when I’m depressed, start playing the claw machine, and give out the toys to the bratty kids who greedily surround me.

It’s definitely an ego boost: it makes you feel like that benevolent grandparents whom all children love. So we’re pleased to discover via Boing Boing a guide to help you master the claw machine. You don’t really want those polyester Yogi Bear dolls in a claw machine, but you can bet some kid will be happy with one. Just go on over to eBay guides and discover how to be a claw master.

Comment Here. Ugh.

How To Win Something In A Claw Machine [eBay Guides]

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  1. DeeJayQueue says:

    I’ve never heard of grease on the claw to make the toy fall out. I HAVE heard of the machine owners loosening the grip the claws have on the toys to a degree that they won’t hold anything. Go to the Jersey Shore some time and play 5 different machines in 5 different arcades and you’ll see what I mean.

  2. ModerateSnark says:

    Ah, so someone wants to be a benevolent grandparent.

    Maybe that’s where wanting to be Rumsfeld comes from.

    You must be the guy who saw him smile that one time. Maybe he was holding a teddy bear, too.

    By the way, I’m gonna start thinking of the two Consumerists as one guy. I christen thee Brownpop Kenlee.

  3. ModerateSnark says:

    No, make that Brownpop Leeken.

  4. ModerateSnark says:

    Or Leeken Brownpop. So hard to decide.

  5. Paul D says:

    When I was 16 I got 3 things in a row from a claw machine. One of them was a little stuffed teddy bear in “Hooters” orange.

    I took it over to the (literally) next door Hooters restaurant, found the cutest server in there, explained what happened, and gave her the bear.

    I got an “aww, how sweeeeet!” and a big hug.

    Made my day.