You’re Going Down, Coupon Boy!

Murder.

It flits through our mind after receiving another newspaper sack of coupons in front of our door today. Over a month ago we called the distribution center to stop “delivery.” They said they would. Proper use of “do not call, do not fill doorstep with garbage” lists is essential to ethical marketing, not to mention, it’s the law

We are totally going to slaughter them. Nicely. We’re going to call back and be nice about it, really. But they better stop, or we’re going to kill. Kill, kill we say.

Yes, that’s a scan of our coupons, see how much they suck?

Rarg!

Comments

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  1. kamian smells says:

    where can i sign up for this? i want coupons!

  2. misskaz says:

    We not only get our own coupon stack, but for some reason the one for the vacant apartment in our building. Argh!

  3. Ben Popken says:

    Call 1-800-376-6222. We’re going to. Maybe we can swap service, your non for our coupon cornucopia.

  4. mark duffy says:

    Coupons have always won, and will continue to win, you silly boy.

  5. trixare4kids says:

    When I called, they said “6-8 weeks” and they really meant 6-8 weeks. I continued to call every couple of weeks, though, just to badger them!

  6. Das Ubergeek says:

    Do what our neighbours do. Go to the pound and buy a large Shiba Inu dog. Train it to lunge at people. They don’t get coupons.

    Of course, they don’t get mail, either, but them’s the breaks.

  7. sixtoe says:

    Yeah, um, that’s not really a phone number to cancel those circulars. Just for fun, I’ve called that number every couple of months for the past several years. Every time, they say “hmmm…it seems like you’re already off the list. Let me put another request through, and give it another 6-8 weeks.”

    I even went so far as to weigh the circular, multiply it my the number of homes in my town, and went to a town council meeting to ask why they were allowing Advo, a Texas Corporation and the world’s largest junk mail supplier, to dump 38 tons of garbage on our lawns every year. The catch? The First Amendment. It’s their right to distribute their information. Other towns have tried–unsuccessfully–to ban circulars, and Advo’s lawyers get involved. I’m thinking of collecting a year’s worth of circualrs and dropping them in the parking lot of my local drug store as an exercise of my rights.

  8. megan says:

    I feel like it’s been MORE than 6-8 weeks since I told em to quit it, but they still show up! Please! go away!

  9. SeekBalance says:

    I printed a sign and put it on my door:

    “No soliciting. If I don’t know you and you’re not expected, don’t knock. And don’t leave it on the door handle!”

    I don’t get much crap on my door handle, and no-one ever knocks. Except my next door neighbors, but that’s ok.

    We don’t get bags of coupons in New Orleans, so I don’t know if it would help or not.

  10. LLH says:

    our mailman puts them in our boxes, as i live in a flat, there are a lot of crappy circulars in the recycle bin. too bad you can’t get them for littering. and also, i think the USPS is paid a tidy little delivery fee every other day for pushing their penny savers on us. i smell a rat…a large shiba inu is called an akita ;)

  11. monalisa_ny says:

    What ever happened with this? I just called the 800 number and a consonant-impaired woman said she would “talk to her supervisors” about the piles of circulars we get every week, and then the line went dead. Sigh. Not very promising. Is it really illegal to dump these things onto the front steps of a private building (coop)? Has anyone had any luck stopping this? We put up a sign, but it didn’t help…