Our Purchasable Society: Firecrotch, Hoffa & Muckrackers

What use is it following celebrity-besotted news if you can’t buy a little piece?

• Are you Team Firecrotch or Team Silverspoon? Well too bad, Brandos, you can only buy t-shirts supporting the former, soon to be released at Choiceshirts.

• If you’re in Milford, MI, put out a hit on one of these Jimmy Hoffa hand cupcakes at the Milford Baking Co. FBI are searching the property of a nearby farm after hearing that Mr. Teamster might be buried underground.

• Show your support for the embattled, soclose to irrelevancy, Page Six gossip columnist Jared Paul Stern by sporting one of his Skull & Bones shirts. Possible spinoff: Why not a line of Skull & Dagger themed polos? Also, Jared, sidenote, a Yahoo! storefront? Not a good look, surely fey gangsters can muscle a more dapper webdesign.

In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen dollars.

Comments

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  1. Falconfire says:

    holy hell Stern wants 50 DOLLARS for those polos with a freaking skull on them. Thats highway robbery.

    Whats worse, its a sale, they WHERE 96 bucks.

  2. Holy hell is right…I got all excited at the idea of piratey preppy clothes…a neck-tie with skull & crossbones is awesome…however the $200 price tag is a bit presumptious don’t ya think? I mean, Armani is cheaper…I’ll make my own on Cafepress thank you.

  3. thrillhouse says:

    helloooooo, miss blue shirt!

  4. matto says:

    She’s a cutie.

  5. OkiMike says:

    She can skull my bone anytime!

  6. Fuzzyman says:

    The day I pay $95 for a polo shirt is the day I hit the Lotto.

    Wait, not even then.