Oozinator Doesn’t Want Our Interview

We submitted our questions to Hasbro PR but for some strange reason we can’t fathom, they’re less than oozing out of their suits to speak with us.

    Subject: RE: Request for SuperSoaker Oozinator interview.

    From: [redacted]

    Date: 5/23/2006 3:36 PM

    To: Ben Popken

    Hey Ben-

    Thanks for thinking of Hasbro and the Oozinator for your story. I’m happy to send you Super Soaker press materials but unfortunately a Hasbro spokesperson is not available for comment.

    Please let me know if you have any questions.

    Very best,
    [redacted]

We wrote back, “When would a Hasbro spokesperson be available for comment?” but have not received a reply.

It may be time to purchase an Oozinator and conduct a thorough product review.

Tame questions, after the jump.

Thanks for your help, readers, by the way, though we must apologize for only using one of your suggestions. We did want to try to get approved, after all.

———
Slimer from The Ghostbusters, the slime on Nickelodeon in the 80′s, what is it about kids and slime?

What was the Oozinator’s inspiration?

What is the Ooze made of? Does it have any other unique physical properties? Does the Ooze stain?

Have you received any complaints about the unique squirt gun? What were
kids’ reactions like in the focus groups?

A caution for the toy reads, CAUTION: Do not aim at eyes or face. What
happens if the ooze gets in your eye?

What have sales been like and how do they compare to other Super Soaker
products at this point in their release cycle?

Will we see other ooze-orientated Super Soaker offerings?
——

Maybe Hasbro read our Oozinator thread and thought better.

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. GenXCub says:

    Next up, the Hasbro poopinator, for all those coprophiliacs out there!

    I would have LOVED to see the answers to the oozinator questions. It saddens me.

  2. Plasmafire says:

    Perhaps you should email their customer service with the questions and see what happens.

  3. mark duffy says:

    Popken, it is you journalistic obligation to get to the gooey bottom of this story.

  4. Paul D says:

    Mmmmmm…gooey bottom.

  5. Andrew W says:

    I’m with Copyranter. This is why Consumerist exists–to be relentless, to dig, to spare no method to get at the truth, that is, the truth of why one company is intent on selling a veiny, alien baby-batter launcher.

  6. thrillhouse says:

    Popken, it is you journalistic obligation to get to the gooey bottom of this story.

    I’m sure poor Ben never wanted to see “Popken” and “gooy bottom” in the same sentance.