Ask The Consumerists: What’s in the Ooze?

We’re on a quest. We want to interview the Oozinator. We want to find out what was going on in Hasbro’s minds when they created this product and its advertising.

Our first stop is the Oozinator PR people. They are happy to forward our request to Hasbro, but they would like to see a few sample interview questions first.

Sample questions we had in mind:

• “The ads depict teenagers squirting boys who appear under 10. Is it Hasbro’s intention for this product to be marketed to older males?”
• “What was the inspiration for the Oozinator? Perhaps a rare animal or something else found in nature only in special circumstances?”
• “In business, as in war, it’s found that groups begin to function less efficiently if their size is greater than 150 persons. What is the maximum amount of people Hasbro recommends for a group Oozinator fight?”

Pray tell, what should we ask the Oozinators?

Previously: Oozinator thread.

Comments

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  1. DeeJayQueue says:

    Does the ooze stain clothing? How do you get the stains out if so?

  2. thrillhouse says:

    A> is there a white ooze?

    B> can it be used on japanese women for a sort of simulated bukake?

    you may want to ask those after you’ve been granted the interview

  3. Madrid says:

    Does Hasbro Co. have any pending copyright infringement lawsuits with anyone in the pornography industry regarding the name of their product?

  4. mschlock says:

    I do kind of want to know what the hell the ooze is made out of, actually.

    And does it fluoresce under UV light?

  5. WMeredith says:

    Every time someone uses an oozinator I feel a great disturbance in the force- As if a million voices just cried out… and were silenced. Why is this?

  6. Andrew W says:

    From Hasbo’s product page:

    Sneak up on your opponents with a surprise bio-ooze attack! Just when they think you’re coming at ‘em with water, blast ‘em with a shot of icky bio-ooze! Shoot out globs of gooey bio-ooze and then drench ‘em with water! It’s a double blast attack that’ll keep your opponents on their toes and running during every water fight. With the OOZINATOR blaster you don’t just get soaked, you get drenched!

    * Air-powered blaster lets you drench your opponents with powerful blasts of water or globs of gooey bio-ooze!
    * Hit targets up to 35 feet away with a 27-ounce water-supply capacity or up to 20 feet away with a 10-ounce bio-ooze capacity!
    * Blaster comes with 10-ounce cartridge of bio-ooze.

    Wow, 35 feet? Does Ron Jeremy know?

  7. P33KAJ3W says:

    “Are you high?”
    and…
    “How many smokes to get one in prison?”

  8. the shipbuilder says:

    If a friend squirts some of his icky bio-ooze into his best friend’s mouth, should they swallow or spit it out?

  9. GenXCub says:

    Is it true that the Hasbro market research department is located at Neverland Ranch?

    Will CSI be able to identify Bio Ooze on the spot with a special testing kit?

  10. Plasmafire says:

    Does it come in multiple colors? Can you use it for a squirtgun when you run out of ooze? Will there be larger versions of the Oozinator in the future with larger ranges? Does it glow under black lights? Could you make a glow in the dark ooze? How well would water balloons work with ooze instead of water? Could you make holy ooze for combating vampires?

  11. Bubba Barney says:

    Where do you buy one?

    That Oozinator clip made it on to the most recent ‘Best Week Ever’ on VH1.

  12. Ben Popken says:

    I saw that! Madness.

    You can get one at amazon, bubb.

  13. mojohealy says:

    Hey Hasbro! I love my Oozinator! I just shoot my ooze all day until my pumping hand cramps and my ooze is a just a pathetic trickle from my nozzle. My Mum, however, is not so happy. She wants to know how to get all the ooze stains out of my pyjamas.