We Built This Starbucks On Suck And Hyperbole

Words fail to describe this Starbucked version of Jefferson Starship’s “We Built This City,” written for a Starbucks leadership conference last year. Luckily, projectile vomiting or rushing into your local Starbucks and kicking every one wearing a green apron in the crotch doesn’t. Thanks, we guess, to Adfreak for finding this.

We like the bridge, though: “I’m looking out over hundreds of partners on another fantastic leadership conference and I’m seeing a bunch of everyday heroes!” Do you remember the days when the word ‘hero’ hadn’t lost all meaning? It takes more than saying “Let’s roll!” to your employees before flipping over the Open sign in the morning to be a hero, Starbucks. What assholes.

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  1. Transuranic says:

    I’m still waiting for corporate shizzholes to adopt the “Abu Ghraib Lindey” pose, finger-gun pointing and pen hanging from lip.

  2. Bubba Barney says:

    Man, that’s GAY.