Oozinator’s Origins, Revealed!

You’ve watched the video, you’ve read the reviews on Amazon, and now, we’re all going to hell just a little bit faster, thanks to a cartoon over at Words & Pictures.

From the Hasbro website:

    Sneak up on your opponents with a surprise bio-ooze attack! Just when they think you’re coming at ‘em with water, blast ‘em with a shot of icky bio-ooze! Shoot out globs of gooey bio-ooze and then drench ‘em with water! It’s a double blast attack that’ll keep your opponents on their toes and running during every water fight. With the OOZINATOR blaster you don’t just get soaked, you get drenched!

Check out the original of the cartoon for full live video effect (we had to screenshot and paste two images as the last frame, sorry Graham, please don’t sue us).

UPDATE: The Amazon reviews have been deleted, but no one is safe from the almighty power of the Google cache. See what spunk we dug up, after the jump [NSFW]…

So here’s what we were able to retrieve from here. There’s a second page of reviews that we can’t access. Let us know if anyone knows how to go to a sub-page on Google cache so that sub-page is also the cached version (or otherwise access the information).

oozereview.jpg

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Grady says:

    Amazon has apparently deleted the reviews.

  2. thesilentnight says:

    HAHAHA. That comic was the perfect way to start off my day. Thanks Consumerist.

  3. rikomatic says:

    That’s so the awesome. Thanks for caching these before amazon got to them. The May 1st one is still the best one.

  4. thesilentnight says:

    HAHAHA. Seriously, thank you so freakin’ much for posting the Amazon.com comments. This is the highlight of my otherwise dull day.

  5. SeekBalance says:

    Best shit ever! Thanks Consumerist!

  6. AcidReign says:

    …..Spurting metaphors aside, this product reminds me of the old Nickelodean goop/green pus they used to sell. Spill it on the carpet, and it will be there forever…

  7. Mike B. says:

    I’m in tears from this. literally

  8. alec says:

    Ugh, my ooze tasted like daddy

  9. own2sphynx says:

    Amazon deleted the reviews but the forums still have some really funny posts.

    I love playing with my oozinator. As I learned how to use it I became more confident than ever before. All the girls in my neighborhood were really impressed with my oozinator and especially how I handled it. Though they accused me of not respecting them when I shot my ooze on their face without asking but I told them it was just something I’d always wanted to do. The only problem is…if I don’t close the blinds in my room while practicing with my Oozinator, that creepy guy across the street stares and waves at me.
    ———————————————–
    Wow, I know I won’t be the first to say it, but the oozinator is a godsend. It is amazingly easy to use, too. It comes preloaded with the gooey bio-ooze and after a little squeeze, it gushes out in a brilliantly powerful squirt. Let me tell you, from the first time you soil an unsuspecting neighborhood kid with your sticky bio-ooze, you’ll be hooked. Every chance you get, you’ll be grabbing your toy and pulling the trigger. Buyer be warned, though, do not sleep with your oozinator. Evidently, during an especially stimulating dream, I rubbed against the oozinator in the wrong way and I awoke covered in dried-ooze and moist covers. All in all- a fantastic invention. In fact, I don’t see how we humans could have existed for thousands of years before a device that shot creamy bio-ooze when stimulated the proper way.
    ———————————————-
    I’ll never forget when I first used my oozinator. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue had just come out, and I rushed home and locked myself in the bathroom to read. On page 73, Kathy Ireland appeared, ever so subtly squeezing her bosoms together. Much to my surprise, my oozinator starting going off all over the magazine! The gooey bio-ooze cause that page to get stuck to the preceeding one, but I didn’t care… I had a new toy, and I couldn’t wait to try it again!

  10. Noremakk says:

    I can see why they got deleted… The kid who Oozinated his grandmother was just mean. :P