Frebreze Letter Unleashes a Mighty Wind

The McSweeny’s of consumer letters for Febreze Scent-Stories, a device with “scent-cartridges” that emits a rotating array of themed ‘candle-like,’ ‘smell-speriences,’ to wit:

    “Dear Febreze,

    First of all, I want to say how much I like the idea of Febreze Scentstories. With varieties such as “Exploring a Mountain Trail” and “Strolling through the Garden,” your product does more than freshen the air: It also tells a story. I like that.

    I have a suggestion. You say that Febreze Scentstories are better than candles. While I’m sure that’s true, I’m not certain you really drive the point home to the consumer. Candles are dangerous. You might accidentally burn down the house with them. Scentstories, however, are safe; they almost certainly won’t kill you. Consider this slogan: “All The Stink-Killing Power Of Candles Without The Extreme Danger Of Fire.”

    Just a thought. Keep up the fine-smelling work!”

Frebreze’s Manchurian Candidate reply (we think they’ve been huffing too many deodorizers), after the jump…

Thanks for contacting us about Febreze Scentstories, Tom.

We’re glad you like Febreze and we really appreciate the creative suggestion you’ve offered to us. To be honest, we rely on outside advertising agencies to develop concepts and plans.

Thanks for thinking of us, though!

Linda
Febreze Team

P.S. Introducing… Febreze NOTICEables. It’s a new air freshener that automatically alternates between two complementary scents for long-lasting freshness. So with each change of scent, the freshness is renewed. Go to our website at http://www.noticeables.com to learn more. Try Febreze NOTICEables and make the switch for good!”

Tom has many other fine examples of his subversive customer letters and the roboid response that love them, on his blog, Minor Tweaks. (Thanks to Tim!)

Comments

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  1. Basically a continuation of Don Novello’s “Lazlo Letters”, but very funny!

  2. El Mystico says:

    The PR automaton at Febreze put more effort into writing a plug for their new product than she did into responding to a helpful suggestion from a complimentary customer. I wonder how many words a critic of Febreze would merit?

  3. matto says:

    You could always try sending them an email saying that their website sucked!

    seriously though, this fellow is certainly riffing off Lazlo Toth’s The Lazlo Letters