Exciting News from the World of Spam

Move over Flinstone’s, there’s a new chewable in town and it ain’t for kids.

Let loose the horsemen! The seventh seal has been broken! Atlas shrugs, yes, it’s it’s… NEW CHEWABLE VIAGRA. Duhn duh duhn!

“Viagra Soft Tabs are mint flavored soft tablets for the treatment of male erectile dysfunction. They are equivalent to regular Viagra

, however due to their soft formulation, they are absorbed directly into the bloodstream,” reads the website offering “Special Internet Prices” (who knew reading your spam could be so informative?).

The next logical step is to go the way of Altoids and Listerine and concoct dissolving Viagra mouth strips. Or, darn it all to heck and back in a Chevy droptop, do some ecstasy rails.

Of course, the chewable Viagras are bound to fail. It’s target audience has a hard enough time gnawing through the all-bran Quaker Oatmeal in the morning.

UPDATE: Inspired, Mark Duffy wrote in some killer taglines:
“Getting Harder Has Never Been Softer.”
“The Chewable Way To Be Fuckable.”
“By The Time You Swallow, It Will Be Her Turn…”

Comments

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  1. mark duffy says:

    TAGLINES:
    Getting Harder Has Never Been Softer.
    The Chewable Way To Be Fuckable.
    By The Time You Swallow, It Will Be Her Turn…

  2. mrscolex says:

    mark duffy for the win!

  3. Ben Popken says:

    I laughed aloud!

  4. Andrew W says:

    What about a liquid version, like Nyquil? Or even like Red Bull.

    “Your last shot of the night will be her first.”

  5. bifyu says:

    “soft formulation”, both the problem and the solution!

  6. Bubba Barney says:

    Is this for real, or just a spammer making up a fake product? I would research, but I don’t want to get busted looking for chewable Viagra at work.