—>"...a David [and] Goliath story..."

This is the most beautiful and finely crafted customer service failure chronicle known to man:

"Are you sure you tried the website?" she asked, in tones similar to someone asking if I also needed help wiping. "There's some nice photos of Catherine Zeta-Jones you can jack it to while you shop. You sound like you're majorly fertile."

Which is true, of course, but I was onto this minx. "I can't do what I'm trying to do online," I said flatly. "Can you guys help me or not?" "Of course!" she cried. "Hold on a sec," I heard as she clacked at keys, or perhaps she was just idly rattling Chiclets in her hands... Then she hung up on me..."

That's just a snip. Read more. [Izzle pfaff!] (Thanks to Lia!)