eHarmony Discriminates Against the Bibulous

Here’s another way to get into eHarmony’s secret love club.

Don’t drink.

One of the final questions reader Dave answered while filling out his eHarmony personality profile was “How much do you drink?”

“I, without thinking,” he says, “answered that I drink daily without even thinking that a beer with dinner makes me sound to them like an alcoholic.”

In its rejection letter, eHarmony wrote…

“Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service.”

Contrary to Seinfield, eHarmony believes that 20% of the population is undateable.

The problem may be more with user expectations. The letter also notes, “eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples.” [emphasis added]. Don’t got to eHarmony looking for someone to go the show with you this weekend. Go there if you’re looking for someone to go with all the shows with you, for the rest of the forever of your life, until death do you part.

Dave asks, why doesn’t eHarmony just put the weed-out questions at the front?

Previously:

Comments

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  1. RandomHookup says:

    Don’t got to eHarmony looking for someone to go the show with you this recommend. Go there if you’re looking for someone to go with all the shows with you, until death do you part.

    English, please?

  2. Karmakin says:

    The weird thing is, it’s not how many drinks you have a day that determines if you’re an alcoholic or not. It’s how many drinks you have over a longer period of a time. Wine with your dinner==not an alcoholic. Drinking until you pass out on Friday evening==alcoholic.

  3. mark duffy says:

    Hey, I personally don’t want to be matched up with smart drunken hot redheaded heathens.

  4. Brian Dailey says:

    RandomHookup: I was trying to make heads & tails of that, too. I think The Universal We is perhaps a daily drinker, too.

    I’m not sure I understand the constant barrage of vitriolic posts regarding eHarmony. Maybe I don’t understand the full impact of the web site itself, but the fact that an online singles website somehow ‘discrimates’ those who don’t answer it’s online quiz in the right way (be it for religious reasons or otherwise) seems awfully irrelevant in the big picture. Who the heck cares?

    Seriously, dating web sites serve a niche market. If eHarmony chooses to serve the ‘goody-two-shoes’ market, who are we to complain? Aren’t there plenty of alternatives out there?

    The whining and complaining is becoming more amusing than it is anything else.

  5. Fairytale of Los Angeles says:

    I don’t think it’s so much the niche positioning that’s the issue. The issue is that they don’t make this explicit from the get-go. I’ve taken the eHarmony quiz (it refuses to match me, either on religious grounds or beer-with-dinner grounds) and that thing takes a *long* time to fill out. If they were a little more upfront, they’d stop wasting their time with the great unwashed and our time with “sorry, no one will ever love you because you had a beer yesterday.”

  6. GenXCub says:

    I agree with Fairytale, it’s like having an airline advertise “The best flight you’ve ever had, and the flight attendants will balance your checkbook, do your taxes, and entertain your children, all while pouring you a jack and coke.” then you get to the counter at the airport only to find that you aren’t allowed in there because you’re (black/gaytarded/white trash/too beautiful/whatever). They’d have that right, but it’s still questionable ethics.

  7. RandomHookup says:

    Don’t got to eHarmony looking for someone to go the show with you this weekend. Go there if you’re looking for someone to go with all the shows with you, for the rest of the forever of your life, until death do you part.

    So you edited it to get this? Have you been letting Brownlee work from the pub again or is this just a pilot test for a new universal random article generator?

  8. icky2000 says:

    >>black/gaytarded/white trash/too beautiful/whatever

    Um, I think you slid down the slippery slope and hit your head. How many women that go to this site do you think vote YES when asked if they want a guy that drinks every day? Probably none. Most people don’t imbibe daily. No, it doesn’t mean you are an alcoholic if you do but people have their own preferences and that is what a dating site is all about. If you are a daily drinker, eharmony is not your style. Move along.

    And what the hell is gaytarded? If eharmony found you using that word, they would probably ban you just for that because it proves you’re a moron.

  9. icky2000 says:

    >>black/gaytarded/white trash/too beautiful/whatever

    Um, I think you slid down the slippery slope and hit your head. How many women that go to this site do you think vote YES when asked if they want a guy that drinks every day? Probably none. Most people don’t imbibe daily. No, it doesn’t mean you are an alcoholic if you do but people have their own preferences and that is what a dating site is all about. If you are a daily drinker, eharmony is not your style. Move along.

    And what the heck is gaytarded? If eharmony found you using that word, they would probably ban you just for that because it proves you’re a moron.

  10. Ben Popken says:

    Jon writes:

    “Let me also say in response to the poster who wants to know why they don’t make their criteria known up front, it’s probably to discourage people from lying. I’m not defending the policy, just saying there’s a logic to it.”

  11. LLH says:

    i think it’s interesting that a ‘christian” company would advertise their hooking up biz on channels of sin and no morals – like spike or e! or even animal planet (joking – AP ROCKS!). i mean, come on, until one of the ex-employees mentioned it i would have never known that was the case. at least with j-date you KNOW it’s run by people of jewish faith who want to help hook up their friends of the jewish faith. i don’t take lightly to having religion slipped in a product. if the owner is whatever faith but runs his business like a business (no bias, money is money) that’s fine. but he is, whether you want to believe it or not, discrimminating or excluding people based on that very question. make the religious factor known up front and stop wasting people’s time and making them feel bad there’s no one out there that meets their ‘deep deep level of compatabilty’ – not a very christian like thing to do now is it?

  12. HINKShopper says:

    My doctor recommended a glass of red wine daily as a part of a healthy diet (yes – it came with all the other recommendations).

    I suppose I’m not on eHarmony’s priority list — although if I’m healthier in the long run that whole ’til death’ thing might just come sooner for the eHarmonics than for me.

    I’ve never done their questionnaire. Something about a born-again roommate ogling and saying “Wow! She’s hot!” while reviewing his match-ups just made me question the whole premise of a [ahem] spiritually-centered dating service.

  13. Bubba Barney says:

    So if you search ‘gaytarded’ on Yahoo, you get a bunch of hits for Consumerist.