Tom Hanks To Film Starbucks Movie

Oh what the f….

Tom Hanks sure likes his triple venti latte.

The actor is attached to star in “How Starbucks Saved My Life,” about an advertising executive who loses his job and family and has to work at the coffee chain to pay the bills. He befriends the young manager and learns about life and love.

…and how to pretend not to understand what “medium coffee” means until a customer, in a fit of consumerist rage, grabs his twitching head, peels back his eyelids with his fingernails and gouges out his eyeball on the cappuccino steam nozzle, then twists the dial to full blast. Actually, that movie could be pretty good, though maybe they should option Dario Argento and not Gus Van Sant to direct.

Tom Hanks in ‘Starbucks’ brew [Reuters]

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  1. Jay Levitt says:

    You know… Tom Hanks isn’t a great actor. He’s not an actor’s actor. He doesn’t bring brilliant insights to his roles. But neither is he bad; he’s not Keanu, he’s not a soap opera cartoon, he’s not Kevin Costner. So I’ve never minded seeing movies he’s in.

    And when he made “You’ve Got Mail”, it wasn’t anything special, but it was a typical cute Nora Ephron film, and all of the AOL employees were totally excited that we were now big enough to merit our own movie.

    Then, a few years later, he made Cast Away, and again, it was an unthreatening, pleasant few hours. And the Fed Ex logo featured prominently throughout the movie, but there wasn’t a lot of comment on that, other than to point out that they sure were brave to show their logo in a plane crash.

    But this is three – four, if you count the FAO Schwarz scene in “Big” – and now it feels like a pattern. Is Tom Hanks actively making a career out of product-placement movies? Does that nice-boy-next-door grin hide the calculating mind of a shrewd businessman?

  2. RandomHookup says:

    Tom has successfully positioned himself to be the Mr Coffee of his generation.

  3. Andrew W says:

    And don’t forget “Terminal.” What was he doing, making up for lost product placement time with that?

  4. Ben Sherman says:

    If you go into a starbucks and order a medium coffee, I can guarantee you that you will recieve a 16 ounce regualr coffee without hassle.

    The only hitch in this is that them may show you a cup and ask if its what you want.

    Try going to Dominoes and ordering a small pizza.

    I LIKE STARBUCKS STOP BEING MEAN YOU JERK

  5. The Unicorn says:

    Also, let’s not forget that he’s doing THE DA VINCI CODE, a franchise that continues to be marketed to death with spinoff products even more useless than the book itself. At Borders, we had a DVD entitled, I shit you not, “The Da Vinci Code: Mystery…OR CONSPIRACY?”

    Not to mention the pro-big-box-bookstore message of You Got Mail. And Polar Express and Toy Story also had ginormous amounts of product tie-ins. As did, uh…the Green Mile and um…Saving Private Ryan.

    Okay, it’s not an across-the-board trait, but I still think that you may be on to something here Jay.

  6. Bubba Barney says:

    Also, Toy Story [they made a franchise out of that] and Forrest Gump [Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.]

  7. AcidReign says:

    …..Cancel Dario Argento, and get Martin Scorese to direct the mauling! I read “The da Vinci Code,” and I just can’t picture Hanks, Mr. Yuppieman, doing it justice.

    …..In the mystery/secret society genre, the Code is highly unlikely to be any better than the highly fanciful “National Treasure,” with Nicolas Cage. Now, Creepy Cage actually LOOKS like a sneaky/arcane Masonic kinda guy! Rent it for cheap, or go check it out from the library. It was fun!