Larry Loves Adidas

Larry (right, with his “homegirl”) loves Adidas.

No, really… he really loves Adidas. Heck, we can’t even begin to summarize how much Larry loves Adidas. Luckily, though, Larry has pulled one of the most poorly designed, purple-font-on-black-background websites out of his unpuckered Adidas hole to tell everyone just how much he loves Adidas.

We’ll let Larry tell you for himself…

As you go through my site, you may notice that I am really into adidas. I started wearing nothing but adidas when I was nine years old in the third grade. I played soccer, and was very good, I might add, and that is what got me to start wearing adidas. I have not worn another shoe name brand since then. I have vowed to never give a penny to the brand with a check mark, and if you would like to know why, then you can e-mail me and I will tell you. adidas america’s headquaters is in Beaverton, Oregon, not far from where I grew up, and I hope to work for them one day. Needless to say, I am a walking billboard for adidas. I eat, sleep, and die anything adidas. Oh, and I have an adidas tattoo, too (Trefoil on my left shoulder).

In addition to answering such riveting questions as “What’s Larry’s favorite number?” (6) and “What’s Larry’s favorite animal?” (Koala Bear), Larry has cryptomaniacally assembled the ultimate HTML hard-on for the Adidas company. Larry also has a fawning history of the Adidas company, reviews on each Adidas product, advice to new Adidas acolytes and way too much fucking time on his hands.

If you love Adidas, or just love laughing at losers, check it out! Companies, we hate to say it, but you might be right: there’s such a thing as too much customer loyalty. Especially when that customer loyalty involves spumes of ejaculate launching about your product brand.

Larry’s I Love Adidas (Thanks, Portal of Evil!)

Comments

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  1. Paul D says:

    If he’s already a walking billboard for Adidas, why would they bother to hire him and actually have to pay him to advertise for them?

  2. Jesse says:

    Possible bullshit viral marketing?

  3. Clampants says:

    At least I learned that Orlando is “O-town.” What is Oregon? O-ville? OG-town?

  4. Bubba Barney says:

    How do you ‘eat’ Addidas?

  5. Bubba Barney says:

    I wonder if he has a traffic counter hidden on his page? If so, he’s going to see all these hits originating from here. You guys should be ashamed of poking fun.

    :)

  6. AcidReign says:

    …..I wore Adidas for a while back in the 1970s. They tended to separate between the sole and the shoe body after a couple of months. (I’m hell on shoes, with the bike and the skateboard…) I’ve found Reebok to be superior in the durability category!

  7. Bubba Barney says:

    Actually, I just looked down and realized I am wearing Addidas [Sambas]. Funny. I have other labels, though that I can wear.