Consumer Reports Oyster Awards

Consumer Reports handed out the “Oyster Awards” for most difficult to open packages.

First place was the Uniden Digital Cordless Phone, taking 9 min 22 sec to open. Tied to the cardboard in more than 15 places, Barbie was runner up. She promptly locked herself in the Dreamhouse Bathroom and scarfed and barfed the entire Teenybop Teen Time plastic set.

As tipster Hubert Sorbet notes, “A simple solution would be to avoid untying anything and change her name to Bondage Barbie.”

More: KMFB 8 Video Coverage. Post-Gazette article.

Comments

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  1. Kat2 says:

    If you think Barbie herself is bad, get one of those store playsets you can buy for her. Half an hour at least!

  2. Paul D says:

    Once it took me over 20 minutes to open the packaging for a 1gb SD card for my digital camera.

  3. mand0 says:

    Paul D,

    The trick is to take heavy duty scissors and cut around the edges

  4. Juancho says:

    I would have thought number one would be the average CD or DVD, which is not bound with so much anti-theft packaging as to be ridiculous.

  5. Anabelle says:

    Other peeves in this category:
    Plastic multipacks of batteries – I always end up using my kitchen scissors, and swearing a lot.
    Canned hams. (New easy-open pull tab? Yeah, right… bet you can’t pull it open without slicing your hand or fingers on the razor-sharp edges.)
    I’m sure I’ll think of more!

  6. OkiMike says:

    Yeah, what’s with those plastic packages where the edges are fused together? Can’t they just make them the snap-together type?

    And why is it that the majority of the products that use this type of packaging are inferior electronic products or accessories?

  7. AFD says:

    You can always try the OpenX Blister Pack Opener – which ironically, is packaged in a blister pack.

    http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/household/openxs-bl

    http://www.myopenx.com

  8. AcidReign says:

    …..My absolute worst experience was Christmas morning about a dozen or so years ago. I was running a 102.5 degree fever, and sitting propped up and drugged up through extended family gift-opening, trying not to throw up.

    …..And the mother-in-law presented this “collector Dreamland Barbie,” or some such, to my 3-year old. I think she had visions of presenting a similar Barbie each year, and they would all be lined up on some curio shelf collecting dust for posterity. My girl, of course, would have none of this! “Want her OUT, daddy! Now!”

    …..Armed with a Buck knife and needle-nosed pliers, and a pounding head, I went to work emancipating Barbie. It was the most hideously complex thing I’ve ever opened! There was blister-packaging. Clothing-style demon-tags that had to be cut. About 30 twist-‘ems through cardboard and plastic braces. Barbie barely made it out without being wounded or puked on!

    …..And about two minutes later, my girl was back, demanding that I get rid of Barbie’s fine clothes. I was too spent to comply…

  9. Ben Popken says:

    Patti writes:

    “I tend to be a conspiracy theorist, but my thoughts regarding difficult to open blister packs is that it isn’t to make things difficult to open, it is making things difficullt to return. Retailer’s perspective – two-way radio package that has been mutilated to get the product out, comes back to the store and the product has no quality defect, just not what they wanted. The retailer can’t put that out and successfully resell the item, because it looks “damaged”. Consumers perspective – totally psychological. I have actually NOT returned things that were not what I expected/wanted/poor quality, but due to the fact I believe the store won’t take back the product with the mutilated packaging. I simply eat the cost versus wasting my time to go to the store and get rejected. I think this is what consumers should be balking about, and I have been for years.

    Thanks for listening to me vent.”