Interview With PR Spokesperson On Mass Graves For Terrorist Holocaust

Okay, we’re going on record saying we have no idea if this interview between Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post and Heather R. Huhman, a PR spokesperson for National Funeral Director’s Association is legit. It’s just too perfect. Gene’s side of the interview is the sort of wouldn’t-that-have-been-great witticism that only comes about by mulling a conversation over for hours afterwards. And Heather R. Huhman — from her protests-too-much, “I’m Human! Really!” name to her mindless public relations babbling — is the kind of straight-man that only exists in the magical realm of make believe.

In the interview, Gene quizzes Heather about a recent press release she sent out, in which she advised the National Funeral Director’s Association — a group already scummy for their mafia ties and consistent efforts to gouge and emotionally manipulate the bereaved — in which Heather indicated that… well, just read for yourselves:

Me: I am in receipt of a pitch you sent to a reporter at The Washington Post on behalf of a client. I am summarizing here, but basically you begin by noting that The Post has recently been covering the controversy over the sale of port management contracts to an Arab Muslim country. Then, employing a non sequitur of breathtaking proportions, or possibly one of the most tasteless transitions in the history of written communication, you say that, in a related development, you represent the National Funeral Directors Association.

Heather: This is making me nervous, as a PR professional.

Me: So, I kept reading. And, basically — correct me if I am wrong here — in an effort to garner good publicity for your clients, you are proposing a positive story on how funeral directors will be helping us bury our dead in the event of a terrorist holocaust that will annihilate thousands of people.

We’re sorely tempted to just quote the whole thing. This is the funniest thing we’ve read all week. You owe it to yourself to click the link, dammit.

Undertaking a Difficult Sales Job [Washington Post]

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Anabelle says:

    I’m appalled. This is a heinous Huhman rites violation!

    nyuk nyuk

  2. airship says:

    Well, one Google later and I can at least say that Heather Huhman is real, and is actually a PR rep with a PR firm. Here’s her bio: http://www.vepublicrelations.com/heather.htm
    So it’s unlikely that this is a made-up ‘humorous’ column, since it’s libelous to use a real person in a news story and put quotes into her mouth.