Ambien Users Report Primitive Unconscious Night Gourgings

As if America weren’t globular enough already, now you can get fat off sleeping pills.

“The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients…the drug’s users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands,” reports the New York Times.

A night nurse who took the drug describes one such experience. “One day,” she said, “I got up
my husband describes this in great detail
I got a package of hamburger buns and I just tore it open like a grizzly bear and just stood there and ate the whole package.”

So you can’t sleep and you take Ambien. But you get fat from sleep eating so you take diet pills. Then you’re depressed and anxious about your sleep disorder and weight gain and embarrassed about your new chemical dependency. So you take some Xanax.

Then one day, you eat an Altoid. All the drugs in your body chain reaction and you transmogrify into a tiny pill, clattering to the floor. Pfizer collects the capsule and prescribes it to immigrants to help them feel more American.

Study Links Ambien Use to Unconscious Food Forays [New York Times]

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  1. Jay Levitt says:

    There was a similar article on “Ambien Driving” in the Times a few days ago. But a friend and I have both experienced a third side effect: shopping!

    My entirely unscientific hypothesis is that it’s related to both the lowered impulse control in that pre-sleep state and the LSD-like sense of wonder. That’s a recipe for lowered sales resistance if ever I heard one! I’ve found myself ordering books, software, oddball gadgets (an electric magnetizer/demagnetizer!), and, once, a DVD that promised to help me “swim better than you ever dreamed possible”. (I do not have a pool.) It’s always something that I don’t really need, but that I can see the appeal of; Ambien just stops me from deciding not to buy it.

    Likewise, my friend woke up one morning to find a mystery package from UPS at her doorstep. Opening it up, she discovered she’d ordered an expensive pair of shoes online – naturally, with next-day shipping. (They were ugly.) Thanks to Ambien’s amnesia, she didn’t even remember ordering them.

  2. Danilo says:

    Ambien and sexual regret story. I have this feeling that we’re about to see one. Binge eating, shopping, half-conscious adventure and amnesia. Lots of unchecked, primal compulsion…

    And you thought beer goggles were bad.

  3. Jillsy says:

    In college they used to hand out Ambien like candy. A lot of my friends have similar stories. My personal penchant was to call people up and leave weird, rambling voicemail messages. And one time, I decided I really needed to put on my flip flops and run around the block in my pj’s. Unlike the people in the two Times stories, I recovered my memory of the late-night jog the next day when I walked past the spot where I’d been catcalled.

  4. Transuranic says:

    LOLOL, Ben (or whoever), that Altoid bit made my day.

    When is anyone going to posit caffeine and the extended-daylight of electricity as the real culprits?

  5. Bubba Barney says:

    I, too ate, called people, and did stuff around my apartment while on Ambien, with no memory of it the next day. I even OD’d on it because I got up and took the entire bottle one night.

    The next day was hell. I felt like I would die if I fell asleep because I was afraid my heart would stop. Scary stuff. Stay away people!