Chase Manhattan Recovers $10k Bill

A week ago, intrepid Consumerist journalist and editor-in-chief Ben Popken wrote about the “new, gayer, $10 bill“… simultaneously offending the US Government, Alexander Hamilton’s netherworldly spirit, comma pedants and our valued homosexual readers. Yesterday, he upped the ante by using the word “gaytarded” to describe the current state of Consumerist internet servers, again picking on homosexuals but also targeting Gawker’s treasured Down’s Syndrome readership bracket. Trust us, Joel is rolling over in his grave in Ben’s basement even as we speak.

We’ll ignore Ben Popken’s penchant for the pan-offensive for the moment. However, as counterpoint to his “gayer $10 bill” post, we’d like to flashback to the more staunchly heterosexual times for our common currency and point out this extremely masculine $10,000 bill, recently recovered by the Chase Manhattan bank. Discontinued in 1969, it was found in the lockbox of a deceased customer and the surviving family was paid face value for it. Amid eerie Illuminati symbolism, Chase Manhattan’s founder Salmon D. Chase eyes the recipient with the cool contempt of the saturnine homophobe. Our good friend Salmon was treasury secretary under Abraham Lincoln — ironic in and of itself, as Abraham Lincoln also appears to have been gay.

Link: $10,000 Bill Sent to N.Y. for Safe Keeping
Related: New, Gayer, $10 Bill Is Fabulous

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Jesse in Japan says:

    They were given face value? For a note in such good condition, they could have gotten five times that in auction.

  2. GenXCub says:

    I wholeheartedly endorse Ben’s use of Gaytarded, and newer, gayer $10 bill. They work for comedic value, and we, in the gay community who have a tad more masculinity than Bobby Trendy are wont to use that term A LOT. When used to describe something or someone garish and rainbow-y, it’s perfectly appropos… for describing something in a disparaging manner… that’s something else altogether. I’m sure I have the authority from the Gay Mafia to speak for the millions of us who may have been offended!

  3. Bubba Barney says:

    Imagine trying to use that bill in real life. People wouldn’t think it is real.

    also, Gay Don Bubba Barney agrees with GenXCub. I use ‘gay’ all the time, although I kinda like ‘queer’ more.

  4. Scott says:

    I’m a BIG proponent of insulting, offensive, and “inappropriate” humor (take a look at my TiVo, or ask my yid sister in-law), but the difference between using terms in humor, and using them as a pejorative, comes down to context: who is saying it, and how, when, and with whom they’re used. When you use the words Gay, Fag, Queer, and Homo to degrade someone or something, you’re equating being gay with being inferior. For example: if you call a hetero guy “gay” as a means to insult him, you’re absolutely saying that being gay is bad, otherwise it’s not much of an insult, is it? Similarly, if you use the word “gay” to describe your second-rate and/or malfunctioning servers, you’re essentially equating those terms. THAT’S the only objection I raised, with respect to the “gaytarded” post.

    As for the “gayer, $10 bill” post, I had no similar objection, per se. My comment (http://snipurl.com/ngdk) went to the hypocrisy of “insulting” humor. I’d wager that no site in the Gawker Media group would post a “new, blacker, $5 bill,” or “jewier, $1 bill” like my tongue-in-cheek comment described… Furthermore, if instead of “Gaytarded,” you saw “Negrotarded,” or the servers being described as “cheap as a Jew,” I believe most people would see that as insulting and offensive… and that’s hypocrisy. Depending upon the context, we can’t say “nigger,” or “kike,” or “chink” without people (rightfully) raising an objection, but there’s no problem with using “fag,” “redskin,” or “fatso.” Why is that? I don’t think any single group is more deserving of respect & protection than any other.

    It’s all about context. Gay guys can use insulting “gay” terms freely & with impunity because the context is known, and our non-gay friends & family can use those terms with us because the context is understood. The same is true of black people, Jews, overweight people, etc., etc. Humorists, in my opinion, are free to denigrate anyone & anything, as long as they’re equal-opportunity insulters, taking shots at all humanity, including themselves! So if Ben Popken wants to make a few jokes about his weak jawline, his hairy paunch, or his penchant for trendy glasses, then I invite him to make fun of my big ears, my flat ass, and my proclivity for Latino men. :o)

  5. GenXCub says:

    Well, I do think that “gay” is special because it used to mean something else, before it was subverted by us raging homo’s and our political agenda. I actually like the Jewier one dollar bill though :) Sounds like something from The Daily Show.