A week ago, intrepid Consumerist journalist and editor-in-chief Ben Popken wrote about the “new, gayer, $10 bill“… simultaneously offending the US Government, Alexander Hamilton’s netherworldly spirit, comma pedants and our valued homosexual readers. Yesterday, he upped the ante by using the word “gaytarded” to describe the current state of Consumerist internet servers, again picking on homosexuals but also targeting Gawker’s treasured Down’s Syndrome readership bracket. Trust us, Joel is rolling over in his grave in Ben’s basement even as we speak.
We’ll ignore Ben Popken’s penchant for the pan-offensive for the moment. However, as counterpoint to his “gayer $10 bill” post, we’d like to flashback to the more staunchly heterosexual times for our common currency and point out this extremely masculine $10,000 bill, recently recovered by the Chase Manhattan bank. Discontinued in 1969, it was found in the lockbox of a deceased customer and the surviving family was paid face value for it. Amid eerie Illuminati symbolism, Chase Manhattan’s founder Salmon D. Chase eyes the recipient with the cool contempt of the saturnine homophobe. Our good friend Salmon was treasury secretary under Abraham Lincoln — ironic in and of itself, as Abraham Lincoln also appears to have been gay.