Six Flags Sued For Roller Coaster Cell Phone Headbutt

When the universe finally implodes and existence fades away into the more natural state of nothingness, the moment immortalized to the left is one of those happy moments the universe will fondly recollect as its life flashed before its eyes. It is, of course, the moment when Fabio went on a Six Flags roller coaster, head butted a migratory goose flying across the track and it exploded in his face. In the back row, a gore-spattered girl screams in abject hysteria, while a more level-headed girl to Fabio’s right realizes the event for what it is — the best thing ever — and takes advantage of the opportunity to gloatingly mock him.

Unfortunately for Six Flags, though, stray objects hitting their roller coaster patrons in the face isn’t limited merely to Milano studmuffins. They have just been successfully sued for $3.6 million dollars by a woman who had her nose broken by a flying cell phone.

Of course, this doesn’t quite beat the time when we vomited right in our own face on the loop-de-loop of a Six Flags upside-down roller coaster. We’re not sure what Six Flags can do about emptying our stomachs before we go on a ride, but it might be in their own best interest to ask customers to empty their pockets into lockers before they get on a roller coaster. And perhaps employ a team of goose snipers as part of the staff on their rides.

Link: Woman Awarded $3.6M After Being Injured On Roller Coaster

Correction! It was Busch Gardens where Fabio’s face blew up a goose, not Six Flags. Po-tay-to, po-tah-toe!

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  1. AcidReign says:

    …..Hmmm. This might explain why Universal Orlando was so strict this past year about making riders put all visible stuff into rental lockers, before going on any attraction with a hint of G-force! What a nuisance! Way to create more lines and make more money!

    …..What’s really sucky about Six Flags (Atlanta, at least) is that you pay this big whopper ticket price to get in, and then at least half the stuff in the park requires extra money!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I just went to six flags in chicago and we were complaining about the same thing. It’s bad enough you have to wait in line for tickets, getting searched, and then wait in line for rides. But now we have to pay for certain attractions as well. That’s getting extreme. I have to pay $5 for Go Karts, budgy jumping, climbing walls, or whatever.. it’s crazy..