Japan’s Hamburger Solution to Gay Pastries

The trunk humpers over at Treehugger have the scoop on Japan’s pastry-phobia and one intrepid patisserie’s response to it. Apparently, Japanese men feel that their manhood is called into question when publically eating flouncy, sugary cakes. The solution? Make the pastries look like fast food, including hamburgers and french fries.

Kind of a cool idea, but the execution, judging from the pics, leaves something to be desired. The burger in the background appears to be made of decomposed liver paste, while the foreground burger has been made with some form of lichen, and not the delicious green percent sign kind. On top of the lichen is slathered a thick layer of what looks less like tartar sauce than congealed ejaculate. Only the french fries look edible.

In America, the only gay kind of pastry is the pink Hostess Snowball. Dear Japan – if you’re so worried about your delicious, sugary cakes looking gay, why not just start making them in the shapes of vaginas and be done with it, already?

Link: Trends in Japan: Sweets in Disguise

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  1. airship says:

    I love Hostess Snowballs. Even the pink ones. Who cares if some stranger thinks I’m gay? Must have that sugary, sugary sweetness…

  2. AcidReign says:

    …..No, no. If I’m going to be ingesting sugary-fat deathness, it’s got to be Little Debbie swiss cake rolls. Mmmmmm! Not enough sugar and carbs in the Hostess ones!

  3. GenXCub says:

    There was a review recently in the Vegas paper (where I live) on burger bar’s dessert burger.
    http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2006/Feb-17-Fri-200

    It actually sounds pretty good, and I work near there… decisions decisions!

    Oh, and Acid… If you want sugary death, you MUST have the Sarah Lee Cheesecake Klondike Bars (yes… klondike’s with cheesecake in them).

  4. OkiMike says:

    What I find funny is that, given time, everyone will know what Mamido’s Burgers sells and when that day comes, all the male patrons will have been unmasked!

    The thrill of entering the burger shop will be akin to finding one’s way into an adult video store.

  5. AcidReign says:

    …..Oh crap! Who carries Cheesecake Klondike? Not my local Publix! Must… have… errrg!