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iPod Porn To Turn Children Into Sex-Fiends

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Man, the iPod just can't catch a break lately. First, Pete Townshend makes the device synonymous with irreversible hearing loss. Then some Cajun idiot decides to sue Apple over the potential of it making him deaf. And now, the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, a Cincinnati-based pornography watchdog group, has raised the concern that the ability to watch porn on an iPod will make our nation's children slavering masturbation addicts: dead-eyed zombies who feast for porn, shambling around and constantly jerking their deformed, claw-like hands about in their pockets when octogenarians pass them on the street.

News5Net has the scoop about the iPod's phantom menace. In a few days, we'll probably be linking a thirteen year old boy's lawsuit against Apple for the iPod's insidious potential to give him an erection. Until then, astute readers may notice that while the News5Net article is helpful enough to name several porncasts available on the net, it doesn't actually link them. What a shame.

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Wait. You mean there are teenage males out there that aren't already masturbation addicts?

Well, let's hope someone gets those few an iPod.

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What the hell is the difference between watching porn on an iPod and watching it on a 48-inch plasma (other than the relative size of the weenies, I mean). These people are such blubberheads. Wouldn't it be nice to have nothing else to worry about than whether SOMEBODY ELSE is watching porn?

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There's a certain segment of our population that lies awake at night worrying that someone somewhere might be having a good time.

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.....I was a kid way before even the first Sony Walkman. No PCs or VCRs. But we found our porn going through folk's trash heaps. There wasn't a teenaged male kid on the block that didn't have porn zines stuffed under his mattress!

.....New tech, same old thing.