Canadians Don't Know What 'Sex' Means

By consumerist.com on February 15, 2006 6:34 PM 132 views

According to a recent poll of 3,000 students, Canadians are much more pathetic than previously suspected:

Young Canadians are digitizing their sex lives, embracing computer screens and touching keyboards ever so gently in lieu of person to person contact, according to a new survey.
Some 87 percent of 2,484 students polled at 150 colleges and universities across Canada reported having "virtual sex" over instant messenger, webcams or the telephone...

Fifty-one percent of respondents were female and 49 percent were male. Of these, 53 percent of students had sex over instant messenger while 44 percent made love to a partner via webcam or telephone.

Jeez, Canada — no, you damn well haven't. Penis, meet vagina. Haven't met before? Then you haven't had "sex"... no matter where you've inserted your mobile.

It ends with this astonishing distinction. Our emphasis: