Round 4: Target vs Walmart

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“Same employment practices as Wal-Mart. They just haven’t reached big enough scale to upset the underdog-worshippers out there,” said RaginCajun on submitting Target.

Airship on Walmart: “They kill small towns; they kill their own suppliers; they leach off the government for benefits for their employees; and they promote the idea that cheaper is better, no matter what the hidden costs.”

Who we’re voting for, plus talking points for you ignore while making your biased decision based on a purely emotional response, after the jump…

Previously:

Allegedly, Target employees can refuse to fulfill your birth control prescription if the in-store pharmacist finds it morally objectionable. This may strike you as good if you
re a crib-crusher or evil if you
re a pussy-ass lifer.

Target.com wants to help you raise your GLBT children. Why? Because gays love Target and Target wants to help them breed a new generation of shoppers.

Not everyone gets the nice suburban tier of Targets, either. A nearby Target at the Brooklyn Atlantic center is dirty, confusing, and poorly stocked and managed. If cleanliness is next to godliness, and Target is dirty, Target is next to devilness, the devil is evil and so Target is evil.

Target’s been accused of kicking out the Salvation Army because they didn’t like the bell-ringers stance against gays and homosexuals. The company policy explains otherwise. They have removed the Red Army from the premises but it’s to provide a ‘distraction-free’ environment of consumer consumption. Target still donates money to the Salvation Army and allows shoppers, Nov 25-Jan 25, to vist Target.com/salvationarmy to purchase items to be donate to the SA. Not causing my ears to ring like a klaxon?

Evil.

Mitigating evil: Walmart today announced plans to loosen its requirements for employee health insurance. Waiting periods, now two years, will be reduced and part-time employees will be allowed to get their children on the health plan. You don’t get nothin’ for free, though. Children on their parent’s plan will be forced into free labor for Wal-Mart after the age of six. Hey, it’s what made China great.

Applying the Google Search Result test, we find “target is evil” returns 2,490,000 results and “walmart is evil,” 439,000 results. These numbers are completely spurious as some of the results don’t refer to Target the store, as in “Hammer of Righteousness deals 1d6 points of damage per caster level, or 1d8 points of damage per caster level if the target is evil…” [emphasis added].

We
re voting for Target. Why?
1) They
re the underdog.
2) They
re trying to be nice to everyone. A sure sign of evil.
3) Someone made an unsubstantiated claim that Target has unfair labor practices.
4) An ex-girlfriend, totally evil, was super fixated on Target. Ergo, Target is evil by association.

Down with ineffable evil.

Comments

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  1. Paul D says:

    Having worked for both companies in my lifetime, I can say with certainty that Target’s and Walmart’s hiring and labor practices are nothing alike.

    Walmart is the clear winner (loser?) here.

    Vive le Tarzhay!

  2. surfacenoise says:

    Give me a break! Who’s going to choose Target as being worse than Wal-Mart? Dumbass redneck partisans, that’s who.

  3. airship says:

    I concur with surfacenoise on this one. A better matchup would have been Wal-Mart vs. Enron, or Haliburton, or Satan. On second thought, forget it. Just write ‘Wal-Mart’ in the top slot of the whole diagram right now. No contest.

  4. Danilo says:

    Even with all of that said, at least the people shopping at Target look genetically viable. In high school, this gorgeous teacher I had once remarked that no matter how bad a girl is feeling about her appearance, she can walk into Wal-Mart and emerge feeling like a beauty queen. For human aesthetics alone, Wal-Mart gets my vote.

    (Come on. We all know we still need one consumer haven still safe from the obese, 40 year-old woman whose sole garments are stained, stretched, unfortunately form fitting Winnie the Pooh t-shirts. You know what I’m saying here.)

  5. Jen says:

    On Target’s birth control/morning after pill prescription policy, their pharmacists are allowed to not fill your prescription, but they’re supposed to find someone else who will and help you get it filled.

    I try to avoid both: Walmart because they epitomize evil and Target because I always get lured into buying way too much crap. Who really needs a Michael Graves paper shredder?

  6. limiter says:

    I worked at Target and it wasn’t so bad. It was just a college job and I didn’t care about benefits. The worst thing about the job was the people who shopped there. Target policies and store managers were a distant second. Walmart gets my vote.

  7. etinterrapax says:

    Wal-Mart gets my vote because Target doesn’t pretend to have low prices at no cost to the consumer. In a way, their obfuscation is refreshing in its honesty. Almost no retail job is going to provide what it should, in this day and age, and I’ve only worked for WM, so I don’t know whether Target provides creepy indoctrination videos during the training process. But I know WM does, and I’m still scarred from the experience.

    And I share other people’s feelings about the clientele, the crowds, the long lines, and the shoddy merchandise. Absolute crap for low prices isn’t a bargain to me, and neither is having to fight with crowds of troglodytes to get it. Their only saving grace is the conveniently located Goodwill donation kiosk in the parking lot. They don’t seem to see the irony in having it, either.

  8. mrscolex says:

    I’m still not convinced that Wal-mart is evil. I’ve heard the arguments from both sides, and even seen the PBS documentary explaining within an hour’s time why wal-mart is evil, and I must have missed the point.

    My vote is for Target because they’re doing the same thing as Wal-mart but making more profit off of it. ;)

  9. Juancho says:

    To give you an idea of how brutally efficient/evil Wal-Mart is, consider this:

    I was in a college business class, and the discussion was about supply-chain management. Wal-Mart as the example.

    Wal-Mart brings their suppliers for product “x” to Bentonville, puts ‘em in a room. They state what price they will pay. All the suppliers who agree to that, come to this side of the room.

    (wait until suppliers agree/move)

    Ok, everyone else, it’s been nice doing business with you, you can leave now.

  10. blakewest says:

    From that PBS Frontline documentary[1]: “Wal-Mart is doing what the American economy is all about, which is producing things consumers want to buy … offering consumers a wide range of goods at rock-bottom prices. It is meeting the market test.”

    I think this just goes to show that Wal-mart is one of America’s staunchest allies, and we should all vote for Wal-mart.

    [1] http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/view

  11. RandomHookup says:

    So when do you invoke the mercy rule?

  12. Fairytale of Los Angeles says:

    I think Wal-Mart’s refusal to stock emergency contraception (unless they’re legally forced to, as in Massachusetts) puts their evil around the same spot as Target’s on the topic of birth control. I think Wal-Mart has the same “the pharmacist can refuse to fill a scrip as long as they refer the client to another pharmacy” policy as well…

    …which sounds great, unless you live somewhere where the next pharmacy over is either another Wal-Mart, or an unreasonable distance from your town.

    (bonus evil: Wal-Mart in Canada used to have a policy of “we don’t stock emergency contraception, but we will order it on request…” that was fundamentally “you’re hosed,” because those orders took longer than the 72-hour EC effectiveness window to be filled.)

  13. Dave (aka. Dietrich) says:

    Target shouldn’t even be compared to WallyWorld; totally different scale, management style, hiring practices, purchasing practices, etc…

    Walmart is the epitome of the evil corporation for oh, so many reasons, not the least of which are the low wages, the 1000lb gorilla purchasing practices, the “eminent domain” store expansions, etc… Target may be aspiring to some of that, but they’re nowhere near Walmart’s league.

  14. thetourist says:

    It’s true: Wal-Mart and Target are worlds apart. After all, Target sells Michael Graves paper shredders and Wal-Mart does not.

    Wal-Mart is clearly evil, but haven’t fooled people into thinking they aren’t. Target is clearly evil, but somehow have managed to fooled people into thinking they aren’t. “Propaganda? Certainly! Good propaganda for a good cause!” I think it should be obvious that Target is the more insidious and dangerous of the two.