Overstock.com’s CEO Patrick Byrne ‘Perhaps’ is an Ogre

We know Overstock.com sometimes has crappy customer service, as we amusingly revealed.

But did you know that their CEO maybe engages in a systematic campaign of intimidation targeting dissenting journalists?

What might be inside Mr. Byrne’s trunk besides the dead bodies and heroin, after the jump.

(We
re going to put everything in
perhaps
terms to avoid getting sued for libel and slander, as CEO Mr. Patrick Byrne is maybe wont to do.)

In a universe not entirely dissimilar to ours, the company
s stock nose-dived from the 70
s in 2004 to the 20
s now, mainly because they probably suck.

During an hour-long conference call last summer, Byrne maybe kinda
laid out a vast, overarching conspiracy, made up of dozens of Wall Street players… all under the thumb of a mysterious puppet master, whom Mr. Byrne labeled the Sith Lord,
according to the NYT this Saturday.

The same article might have, meh, spoken about Mr. Byrne
s suit against MarketWatch columnist Herb Greenberg and Carol Remond of Dow Jones Newswires, both of whom, in all likelihood, have been openly critical of Overstock
s CEO.

Today, the SEC decided to halt a subpoena process involving the two reporters.

At least that’s what word on the street is.

The SEC is investigating allegations by Overstock that a research firm, Gradient Analytics, issued negative reports on the retailer in exchange for payments from a hedge fund seeking to profit from a drop in its stock price. Overstock has sued Gradient and the hedge fund in question, Rocker Partners; they deny any wrongdoing,
we kinda think the Associated Press reported today.

If our hunch is correct, the CEO in one breath referenced Mark Cuban, who proudly has shorted 20,000 shares of Overstock.com and would short more if he possibly could, and his
friends
, and in the next breath, talks about gangsters. (Any correlations drawn between the two can be explained by a phenomenon known as Gestaltian Psychic Dissonance. We think.)

Patrick Byrne said, at least that’s if you believe what seems to be written on Mark Cuban’s blog,
Some of the people I
m up against are mobsters. I fully expect you
re going to hear about the police stopping me with a pound of heroin, or a dead body, or something in my trunk.

How about a bunch of crappy earnings reports and the souls of the customers you suckered in your trunk? How about that creepy it
s all about the O Lady in your trunk? How about the American Dream in your trunk? Huh? HUH!??!?!?

We’re just asking.

Tell us, what might be in Mr. Patrick Byrne
s trunk?

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Jesse says:

    Tell us, what might be in Mr. Patrick Byrne’s trunk?

    If we’re lucky, that incredibly annoying “It’s all about the ‘O'” lady is stuffed in someone’s trunk somewhere, never to make any more insipid commercials. God, I hate those commercials.

  2. airship says:

    He is the reason I don’t buy anything from Overstock.com, even though the babe on their TV commercials is hot, hot, hot. I sure hope they don’t find her in his trunk…

  3. OkiMike says:

    What’s in his trunk? All the white fucking flooring and walls in those soulless commercials of theirs.

  4. Calaverius says:

    “…and sometimes, on occassion, it’s all about the O-gre”

  5. Juancho says:

    I gotta go with Airship. She is so hot.

    Hot female talking about the “O” in a company’s spots? So much for subliminal advertising techniques.

  6. Clampants says:

    To me, Overstock is (possibly) akin to Building 19, a store in the NE area that sells swollen cans of fire-damaged off-brand green beans that fell off a flat-bed truck…just online. Perhaps.

  7. djwoodyphl says:

    I somehow need to be reminded why this moron is allowed to be the CEO of any company. Oops, is moron too harsh? :) Maybe dillusional grandstanding nimrod works better.

    Granted, The “Big O” (not to be confused with Oprah, of course) seems to be able to keep from shuttering their website by peddling crap from retail seasons past – but what company with any sort of respect for their reputation among the public puts an idiot like him in charge?

    I’d gladly give Mark Cuban a couple of bucks just to be in on his short deal with their stock … and I’m sure there are many other people out there who feel the same.