The Week in Product Recalls: Poisonings, Burns, Strangulations, Deadly Chickens

Metal Charms Recalled for Lead Poisoning Hazard to Children

Hazard:
“The recalled charms contain high levels of lead, posing a serious risk of lead poisoning and adverse health effects to young children.”

Lead, a soft and malleable metal, makes a great material for crafting jewelry and trinkets, oh, about 200 years ago.

Sucking on lead charms is neat ‘diet hack’ to cut the calories and feed the sweet tooth over Halloween.

But what about the adverse effects of festive holiday projects and bangles lacking sufficient flair?

No one ever thinks about that, how it feels to not be chintzy.

Deadly chicken video and more, after the jump.

limbo.jpgChicken Limbo Party Games Recalled After 23 Reports of Injuries

Hazard: “The game
s two side poles do not fit into their bases properly making the game unstable. This [absurdly] can cause the game to completely fall apart if touched, hitting children playing the game as well as bystanders. :

Here’s a video of the death-dealer in action, manned by a mysterious cloaked figure. Sorry, it’s only for Windows Media player. Couldn’t figure out how to capture the stream in time, so here’s a transcript as well:

(View of Chicken Limbo Party Game outside. Close-up on supports at the bottom of the game, and a close-up of the chicken on the limbo bar).

(View of person pushing on the chicken, causing it to spin and play music. When it stops spinning, the chicken laughs).

(At one point the chicken becomes stuck mid-spin, in an upside-down position. The person presses on it again to allow it to continue spinning).

Incidents/Injuries: In a case of inanity raising its loathsome head, “Milton Bradley has received 46 reports of the Chicken Limbo party game collapsing unexpectedly. This includes 23 reports of injuries including bumps, bruises, welts and red marks, four reports of cuts, one chipped tooth and one fractured foot. “

This is what you get for over-technologizing what should be two people and a stick.

Why is there a fucking chicken in the middle of it anyway?

gas.jpg
Barbeques Galore Inc. Recalls Gas Grills Posing Risk of Gas Leaks, Fires

Hazard: “The grills have faulty regulators that can release too much gas to the burner causing an excessive burner flame. This also poses a risk of gas leaks, fires and explosions if an ignition source is present.”

Fear before the march of flames whilst cooking up those hot pink hard-bodied slivers of succulent hot beef chunks. Hot.

hoodie.jpgYouth Hooded Fleece with Drawstring Recalled for Strangulation Hazard

Another week, another hoodie strangulation hazard.

Remedy: “Consumers should remove or cut the drawstrings to eliminate the hazard, or return the garment to the store where purchased for help in removing the drawstring.”

Manufactured in: China

The sweatshirts were originally designed to be freely distributed to subversive elements using decadent American Google.com but then Google.cn came along. The shipments were redirected to members of Falun Gong.

[via U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission]

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  1. blakewest says:

    Parents have to be really careful about lead. It seems to appear all over the place. Even in candy wrappers [1]. As a parent of a toddler, I’ve become pretty suspicious of anything metal, old paint, even old window blinds contain lead. Everything still goes in my kid’s mouth as soon as she gets a hold of it. Better safe than sorry.

    [1] http://www.ocregister.com/investigations/2004/lead/