Like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Web 0.5, we stumbled across Scott Pakin
s automatic complaint-letter generator which simplifies and enliven your grievance submission process, an internet relic from 1996.
Type in the offending party
s name or company and the program cranks out a vague and threatening letter insinuating numerous wrongs. Wrongs so heinous that they remain nameless, to comedic effect.
The magical machine seems to remix some of the best complaint lines ever written and connect them in a linguistically sound fashion.
Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears, I come to bury The Consumerist, not praise him
was how one of the letters it produced for us started.
Why the letters may not resolve your issue, it may certainly be gratifying to befuddle your target into guilt and contrition.
We guess some things never change. The darn thing still works.