Lazy New Yorkers will hearten to hear that everyone
s favorite way of avoiding interacting with people poorer than you, the Fresh Direct food delivery service, has introduced Fresh Dining.
There
s Fresh Dining Chicken Teriyaki, Fresh Dining Provencal Tilapia and Fresh Dining Dill-Lemon Salmon, and more, a veritable cornucopia to delight your monocled sloth palate.
Like its forerunner, Fresh Dining delivers to Manhattan and the surrounding urbopolis. There’s a $40 minimum order and a delivery fee of $4.95 that increases as you spiral outwards from the emerald city.
We’re holding out for Fresh Feeding where the immigrant workers will actually airplane shrimp marinara into our waiting maw.
[via aptbroadcast]
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I gotta admit, some of that shit is good. I’m embarrassed that I bought any in the first place, but the shrimp one with peanut sauce? Mighty tasty.
Hopefully people use Fresh Dining to have a restaurant-quality meal at home with friends. While I feel lame when I get cheap take-out to save time instead of making my own dinner, I’d feel way lamer spending $45 to still eat alone.
Speaking as a lame, lonely New Yorker, I’d just like to make it clear that, for most people, the $45 includes actual groceries, and is not actually made up entirely of Fresh Dining meals. Just so Andrew doesn’t worry too much.