The Least Sucky of Consumerist

Zafus and Chakras: Yoga Exercise Clothes
If for no other reason than to drum up some love for “Pontius Pilates.”

Free Lotion Promotion: “When Chekhov saw the long winter…”
Not nearly enough companies use the screams of their customers in promotion of product.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part
Frank Bruni is The Times restaurant critic, we forgot to add.

Commentors Speak: Responsible Ways To Get Your Waiter Fired
Yes, commentors speak. Our English technique is unstoppable.

Using Race as a Weapon to Sell Vitamins
We’re pretty sure there’s a vitamin one can take after exposure to dirty bombs. We learned this from watching Battlestar Galactica.

McDonald’s Blog’s One-Way ‘Conversation’
McDonald’s has since updated their blog, with nary a mention of bloody sundaes.

At The Other End of the Line: (Purported) T-Mobile Edition
When writing this we conflated ‘Grace Jones’ with ‘Grace Slick,’ which was very confusing indeed.

This CEO Sucks Less: John Pepper of Boloco
Mr. Burrito is neato.

MPAA Pirates Documentary In The Name Of The Children
There ought to be a law…

Google Censors Its Chinese Service
Do no evilish.

Consumers Speak: Bad Waitress Prompts Epic Tale
We can’t believe it’s taken us this long to talk about restaurant service.

Consumerist Research Team Assemble: Buying Cigarettes in New York
We found a possible source for mail-order smokes. Developing (a tumor)!

Starbucks Contest: The Winner!
When in doubt, just keep writing.