MPAA Pirates Documentary In The Name Of The Children

In a delicious turn of events that could only be matched by Microsoft discovering it was using warezed copies of Windows on its office computers, the MPAA has been busted for pirating a film submitted to them for rating—called, appropriately enough, ‘This Film Is Not Yet Rated.’ The film’s a documentary currently debuting at Sundance, investigating the unaccountability of the MPAA’s rating board, the inscrutability of its unpublished ratings guidelines and the hypocrisy of Hollywood’s preference for sadistic violence over soft-core sex. Apparently, the film was worrying enough for the MPAA to secretly distribute unauthorized copies to many of its employees. The problem? By the MPAA’s own definition, “ALL forms of piracy are illegal and carry serious legal consequences.”

Speaking on behalf of the MPAA, Vice President of Corporate Communications Kori Bernards said:

“We made a copy of Kirby’s movie because it had implications for our employees,” said Kori Bernards, the MPAA’s vice president for corporate communications. She said Dick spied on the members of the MPAA’s Classification and Rating Administration, including going through their garbage and following them as they drove their children to school.

“We were concerned about the raters and their families,” Bernards said. She said the MPAA’s copy of “This Film Is Not Yet Rated” is “locked away,” and is not being copied or distributed.

Yeah, yeah. Bag ladies go through my garbage all the time, but I don’t go and steal their shopping carts full of greasy paper, string, dead cats and collapsed tin cans. By themselves, someone going through your garbage or following your car are not against the law. If you’re really worried about the well-being of your employees, you call the police, end of story. How hypocritically contradicting your own corporate dogma by making a couple of VHS dupes is supposed to solve that perceived danger is a mystery.

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  1. Paul D says:

    Another brilliant move by the MPAA.

  2. Who rates the rate-men?

    What’s next, will Gallup start polling itself?

  3. non-meat-stick says:

    oh sweet irony!