PETA Teen Changes Name to

This is cruelty to chickens as opposed to the gagging palates of diners, by the way. n
Chris Garnett explains his name change:

Chris Garnett, youth outreach coordinator for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said he changed his name in support of the group’s anti-KFC campaign.

“People don’t believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion,” Garnett, er,, said in a statement. “Many vow to boycott KFC after I explain the company’s indifference to cruelty to animals.”

Verbose philosopher and poultry enthusiast Pamela Anderson goes on to praise for his far-sighted resolve in replacing his name with an unclickable URL:

“Stacked” star Pamela Anderson, who has narrated a PETA video showing the alleged abuse, supports Garnett’s name change.

“I’m sure Chris can’t wait till KFC stops torturing chickens so he can change his name back,” the actress said in a statement, adding that the chicken abuse “is awful and has to stop.”

Or until the spunky teen realizes that this sort of stunt nets you headlines for approximately two days but labels you as an easily influenced whack job for life. You know, which ever comes first. We here at the Consumerist should know. There’s at least one person legally named “Turok” currently on staff.


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  1. Jaysyn was banned for: says:

    The “discusion” is as follows:

    Me: So you changed your name to, eh?

    KFC: Yup.

    Me: Dumbass.

    But kudos to him for having something he believes in. I guess.