The Bathroom Scale: Williams-Sonoma Holiday 2005 Catalog

The Catalog: Williams-Sonoma Holiday 2005. The catalog for cooks and those who once saw Alton Brown in a Nashville Arby’s.

The Target: Cooks, ostensibly. More likely, those who like to eat food prepared by cooks on nice china or are enticed by the prospect of ‘six months of cheese.’

The Models: Entirely bereft of human faces, with only an occasional hand model to clutch firmly the stainless steel food mills and potato ricers. Thankfully, these hands are well manicured and do not suggest the tiniest amount of human skin or nail has escaped into the fruitcake.

Bathroom Reading Rating: Like the edelweiss, the layout is clean and bright. The unfortunate choice of placing the foodstuffs at the front of the book leaves us somewhat uncomfortable in suggesting the catalog be positioned for restroom reading.

Context, here, is king. If your home is festooned with the hot, freshly-pressed paninis and bay leaf garlands offered by the catalog, it would be gauche to let slip which company has provided inspiration. On the other hand, if you’ve recently upgraded to buying meals from “the good Chinese delivery,” there’s no need to remind your guests (and yourself) of what a horrible homemaker you are.

Three caramel-nut chocolate sticky paws out of five. Save it for the bedroom.