Wal-Mart Unburies Competition

Robert Sterling forwarded us this story, entitled ‘Unmarked cemetery found near Wal-Mart’. We offer it to you as a test.

Did you, upon reading the headline, presume that Wal-Mart must have had something to do with the murder and midnight burial of a family of five? How biased you are against the largest retailer in America! They were actually murdered by Kohl’s.

The remains are in a muddy cemetery on the future site of Kohl’s of Culpeper and next to a Wal-Mart parking lot. Archaeologists say the remains are located within what is known as the Green-Williams family cemetery.

Houston said unmarked graves within family cemeteries were generally reserved for people of lower social status, like “an impoverished cousin.”

We’re not sure a world where an impoverished cousin is forbidden to lay down his head in Wal-Mart’s cool, affordable soil is a world we want to be part of.