The Suck Site Review: MilkSucks.com

We don’t know who MilkSucks.com is trying to dissuade with its, “Got Pus?” page—pus, like milk, is creamy, sweet, and delicious. The PETA-backed website does a lot better when it describes the dangers of bovine growth hormone and ‘mastitis,’ a swelling of a milk cow’s sexy udders. (Science Note: ‘Mastitis’ as a term for ‘massive tit disease’ is just shy of brilliant.)

The picture on the ‘Got Pus?’ page (reproduced here) is total amateur hour, though, and stops just short of showing a zombie farmer squeezing clumpy curds of blood from the animated corpse of six cows stitched together into a outsized, throbbing mammary goblin.

So yeah, cow’s milk might not be the best thing for humans to drink, but you’re not going to wean many folks off of dairy products by admonishing them to “try delicious soy or rice milk, soy cheese, Tofutti ice cream, and tofu sour cream and cream cheese.” Especially since soy is not without its potential health risks. And Tofutti sucks.

On the upside, the website is not a total travesty of HTML, which elevates it a couple steps above the Sucks Page Rendering Standard.

The Consumerist’s Suck Rating: Four Distended Udders (Out of Ten)

Comments

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  1. Nougat says:

    I am quite willing to have a heart attack as long as I can use an abundance of the appropriate cheese for every occasion.

  2. Smoking Pope says:

    PETA is such a bunch of wankers. I remember one of their previous anti-milk campaigns. They claimed milk is a racist beverage (because a higher percentage of minorities are lactose intolerant), and urged college students to drink beer instead (yeah, tough sell there). Wankers.

  3. meaniemean says:

    I didn’t know Half Life 2 had a scene in milk juggery.