Claim Your Crap in Three Clicks or Less

Out there in the great expanse of the mind, you might have misplaced a few tokens of ownership, like the keys to your car or your children’s bones. That is as natural as the sun’s hateful rays, and we do not condemn you. But did you know that someone may have misplaced property or money for you?

It’s a science fact that companies laugh at your misfortune, like leprechauns. And when they owe you something of value, they are not likely to go out of their way to contact you. But the government, betentacled benefactor that it is, requires corporations to report those assets, even if you never claim them.

Surely you see where we’re going with this.

Unclaimed.org’s By-State Property Map can lead you to the websites of each state’s database of unclaimed property, while MissingMoney.org can do the same for cash.

The Consumerist just discovered we own the state of Kentucky and the head and upper torso of Missouri’s milfy State Treasurer, Sarah Steelman.